Frequently Asked Questions

Why do you call your site "Bob Smash!"?

That title actually came from a friend of mine after seeing me kick someone's ass. I am a huge fan of "The Incredible Hulk" (thank God Marvel bought back the rights), and my friend of course knew this. So this asshole pisses me off real bad, and I proceed to thrash him. My friend remarks later how I seemed to have "swollen up" when I became enraged, and started saying I had "hulked out". This was just hilarious to us both, and afterwards he started saying "Bob Smash!" when I would start to get angry as a humorous way of calming me down.

What's up with calling yourself "The Incredible Bob"?

Isn't it obvious? I'm a big fan of the Hulk, and my original layout was very Hulk-themed. Since "The Incredible Hulk" was already taken, I am now "The Incredible Bob".

Why do you claim to be the internet's "angriest, fat bearded man"?

Somewhere during the evolution of "The Rantlister Forum" (formerly El Forum Del Drako, The Prophecy, and The Forum Of Awesomeness) a member calling himself "Rob", after the retirement from ranting of Jake The Drake (Drake GTA), began calling me the new "fat, bearded man". Another member even made a hilarious gif to explain this.

As for the "angriest" part, just read my site. Many of my rants tend to be rambling tirades about whatever situation or encounter is pissing me off most at the moment.

What's up with the green?

You're a moron. I'm a Hulk fan, and green is a very angry color. If you don't like it, that's a Y-P and not a M-P.

Why don't you just have a "Maddox" layout?

I've never really been a big fan of Maddox. Albeit, he is a terrific writer and a legend in the field of ranting - but there are plenty of people out there who copy his page and post their own title on it. There are plenty of "___ Best Page In The Universe"s, and I felt my personality would be best expressed with a site designed around my tastes, not his.

What got you started writing?

I got in a band with the douchebag who writes "The Breast Page In The Universe", and he showed me his page. It just seemed like an awesome thing to do, and I had been ranting and raving about everything from "Hooked On Phonics" and Bush knowing about 9/11 for years. I had just been writing this stuff in a notebook, not on a website.

Are you really a fat guy?

Yep.

What's up with your hair?

I would rather be bald than balding.

I've seen your MySpace profile. You're fat and bald. Can I still send you a friend request even though I hate you?

Why not? Odds are, I don't like you either.

What's up with all the politics? This isn't a blog.

Because I write about things that piss me off. Other writers such as Maddox and Thilo mainly write satire about lunacy in our popular culture, but I tend to focus more on the ingrained stupidity of the American society. And what is the most glaring example of the kind of mindless sheep the voting public has become? Politics. Liberals and the morons that buy their pap piss me off. They hide their disdain for the military behind their "unquestionable" patriotism, and openly engage in acts of sedition and treason knowing media outlets such as ABC and MSNBC will fool the public into believing they were just exercising their "rights" or showing their disapproval of Republican policies. And too many people in this country either don't know any better or refuse to know any better.

Didn't the bottom of your front page used to have a box saying "a style sheet created by the biggest cocksucker on earth"?

Yes. A ranter who called himself "Prophet" had a nice site design. When he quit his site, I borrowed his CSS Style Sheet so I could learn how to do CSS (cascading style sheets - it lets you create a more intense web page). For a time I credited him with the design, but he began to be an asshole to the community as if he was doing something important with his time. I got sick of it and quit crediting him. Regardless of the fact my site looks nothing like Prophet's did, he got mad and put up a nasty hit piece on Random Brainwave that also attacked my family. So my disclaimer listed him simply as "the biggest cocksucker on earth". But now we're past that, and the site is so little like that now there is no need to credit anyone besides myself.

Why do you keep changing your damn page?

Because I get to basically do whatever the fuck I want. In truth, I want my page to look more and more professional, and as little like what any other writer is doing out there as possible.

I think you're selling out - no respectable ranter sells crap on his page.

Think what you want. If you read my site you know I'm a proud conservative, and as such have decided to engage in a little capitalism. So either buy something or go home - this isn't a library.

Need to know more? Shoot me an email.